Today, suddenly, the depths of depression tried to skitter under my feet as I walked myself through the ending of the WIP. It's a contemporary fantasy YA, and I have it almost finished. I've even written and survived the first conflict of a two-wave climax.
And now, I feel like a surfer too far down the wave, with my surfboard bumping the coral on the bottom, and the fifteen foot wave looming over my head, ready to dump tons of water in an effort to grind me to smithereens. At those depths, I would ask you, my friends and fellow creators, Why? Why do we put so much of our tattered little souls out there? What drives us to create art? I have noticed that it doesn't matter if we are writing novels, filming movies, painting, drawing, dancing, singing. What compels us to create?
I would love to hear some discussion of this because I wonder myself. Why do we take a precious and somewhat private part of our soul or mind or being, and put it out for everyone else?
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
For Whom the Wedding Bells Toll
It was a quarter century ago that I signed my marriage certificate with my husband, Kevin. That staggers my imagination. Because inside the walls of my head, I'm still about fourteen, and just discovering the world. How could I have been married for 25 years?
They have been wonderful years. I'm so lucky to have been with Kevin H. Evans for all this time. He is kind and loving, and a great protector. He and I stand together through all the storms and trials. He is my courage and my encouragement. If not for him, I would never have dared to risk my fragile self-esteem on the whims and vagaries of critics and readers.
Many of you have never seen the plain and precious things I have seen in my husband, but only know him as "scary Kevin". That's all right, I can treasure them up in my heart and keep them for my own.
I'm ready for another quarter century as long as I get to do this trip with him at my side. I love you, Kevin.
They have been wonderful years. I'm so lucky to have been with Kevin H. Evans for all this time. He is kind and loving, and a great protector. He and I stand together through all the storms and trials. He is my courage and my encouragement. If not for him, I would never have dared to risk my fragile self-esteem on the whims and vagaries of critics and readers.
Many of you have never seen the plain and precious things I have seen in my husband, but only know him as "scary Kevin". That's all right, I can treasure them up in my heart and keep them for my own.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
On Safari in Four Corners
I have made it home after a wild weekend in Salt Lake City for CONduit. More about the convention later, I want to talk about the drive.
The drive from Rio Rancho to South Jordan (where my mother lives) is somewhere around 600 miles, and about 10 hours. I always try to leave early so that most of the drive will be in daylight, but that doesn't happen as often as I would like.
We finally got out of town by 11:00 am, and we were on the way. This trip was unusual because Kevin wasn't driving. He didn't get time off work for this trip because we'd spent it in March for World Horror Con.
Everything was going well, I was feeling good, my assistant, Jamie, was with me, as was my son, Morgan. About 20 minutes out of Cuba, New Mexico, I noticed some movement by the fence on the left side of the road. It was a bear. He was probably a yearling, about 100 to 150 pounds, and he was a blonde. We usually have black bears in this part of the country, and this is the time of year we see them most because they wake up hungry. But I didn't expect to see a Grizzly-colored bear. We looked each other in the eye, and he took off running up the hill, I assumed up to where his mother was out of sight.
This was not the only wildlife sighting. Some hours later, north of Moab, Utah, and almost to Crescent Junction where I got to drive on the freeway for 20 minutes, there was the inevitable road construction. The contractor was almost done re-surfacing the road. It's a two-lane, with about as much traffic as anywhere in the state of Utah.
The contractor had painted a double yellow line on the unfinished blacktop, to try and mitigate accidents. Cars were going 70 miles an hour, almost bumper to bumper, both directions. I was paying close attention to the road and my fellow risk-takers.
Suddenly, it looked to me like the center yellow line stood up, and I realized that there was a prairie dog taking refuge in the middle of the road. I could see a hawk and two large ravens circling the highway, and realized that they were looking for lunch. Unfortunately, the prairie dog took exception to their ideas, and was using the cars to keep the predators away from himself.
We also spotted some pronghorn antelopes, and some elk. I loved seeing the wild things, and Jamie was a little frustrated because she could see them, just not get them recorded on her camera.
Fun trip, glad I got to sleep in and take two naps today. I don't think I'm getting too old for this, but I do have to leave myself time to recuperate afterwards.
The drive from Rio Rancho to South Jordan (where my mother lives) is somewhere around 600 miles, and about 10 hours. I always try to leave early so that most of the drive will be in daylight, but that doesn't happen as often as I would like.
We finally got out of town by 11:00 am, and we were on the way. This trip was unusual because Kevin wasn't driving. He didn't get time off work for this trip because we'd spent it in March for World Horror Con.
Everything was going well, I was feeling good, my assistant, Jamie, was with me, as was my son, Morgan. About 20 minutes out of Cuba, New Mexico, I noticed some movement by the fence on the left side of the road. It was a bear. He was probably a yearling, about 100 to 150 pounds, and he was a blonde. We usually have black bears in this part of the country, and this is the time of year we see them most because they wake up hungry. But I didn't expect to see a Grizzly-colored bear. We looked each other in the eye, and he took off running up the hill, I assumed up to where his mother was out of sight.
This was not the only wildlife sighting. Some hours later, north of Moab, Utah, and almost to Crescent Junction where I got to drive on the freeway for 20 minutes, there was the inevitable road construction. The contractor was almost done re-surfacing the road. It's a two-lane, with about as much traffic as anywhere in the state of Utah.
The contractor had painted a double yellow line on the unfinished blacktop, to try and mitigate accidents. Cars were going 70 miles an hour, almost bumper to bumper, both directions. I was paying close attention to the road and my fellow risk-takers.
Suddenly, it looked to me like the center yellow line stood up, and I realized that there was a prairie dog taking refuge in the middle of the road. I could see a hawk and two large ravens circling the highway, and realized that they were looking for lunch. Unfortunately, the prairie dog took exception to their ideas, and was using the cars to keep the predators away from himself.
We also spotted some pronghorn antelopes, and some elk. I loved seeing the wild things, and Jamie was a little frustrated because she could see them, just not get them recorded on her camera.
Fun trip, glad I got to sleep in and take two naps today. I don't think I'm getting too old for this, but I do have to leave myself time to recuperate afterwards.
In which I get very little sleep
Here we are at the opening of summer, and Kevin and I have decided that we need to have more of a presence in the blogoverse. So I get the even days, and you'll hear from him on the odd days.
I find that it's hard to concentrate when I haven't been sleeping well. I left Kevin at home, and headed to CONduit in Salt Lake City. I was confident and pleased to be able to see some of my friends again. I wasn't worried about driving the 10 hours, I've done that before, and besides, I had my son and his girlfriend Jamie, my trusty assistant, along. If I got over-tired, Jamie would be able to drive.
So we arrived at the hotel without incident, and I go to my room. I did spend an hour Friday afternoon just lying down in the dark and cool hotel room, recuperating. Then I threw myself into the con.
I wasn't on any panels, even though my name was listed on the website. I had come to this event just to schmooze and visit. I had my hat on, and my crochet bag in case it got slow and boring.
That evening, when I finally went up to bed, though. I was aggravated. I have been using a CPAP system for almost 6 years, and there, on Friday night, it decided that it couldn't work, and just flashed error codes. I stayed up until 4:30 am investigating on the Internet how it might be fixed.
And I finally fell asleep without it. It is worrisome, because I know how much oxygen loss I suffer when I don't sleep with the CPAP. But I had to sleep. I actually got about 3.5 hours before I got up to go to breakfast with Jamie. Not all that unusual for con behavior.
Long story short, I didn't get it working yet. When I got home, Kevin and I opened it up and cleaned all the mechanisms, and it comes on now. But the regulator seems to be toast. It changes volume at random, giving me no air at all up to the maximum, and everything in between. I still can't sleep.
And so today, while I've been thinking about this blog, and the chapter I need to finish, along with Kevin's story that we want my half done on before June 15th, I haven't hardly written anything.
Except this blog. At least I kept up my side of the bargain.
I find that it's hard to concentrate when I haven't been sleeping well. I left Kevin at home, and headed to CONduit in Salt Lake City. I was confident and pleased to be able to see some of my friends again. I wasn't worried about driving the 10 hours, I've done that before, and besides, I had my son and his girlfriend Jamie, my trusty assistant, along. If I got over-tired, Jamie would be able to drive.
So we arrived at the hotel without incident, and I go to my room. I did spend an hour Friday afternoon just lying down in the dark and cool hotel room, recuperating. Then I threw myself into the con.
I wasn't on any panels, even though my name was listed on the website. I had come to this event just to schmooze and visit. I had my hat on, and my crochet bag in case it got slow and boring.
That evening, when I finally went up to bed, though. I was aggravated. I have been using a CPAP system for almost 6 years, and there, on Friday night, it decided that it couldn't work, and just flashed error codes. I stayed up until 4:30 am investigating on the Internet how it might be fixed.
And I finally fell asleep without it. It is worrisome, because I know how much oxygen loss I suffer when I don't sleep with the CPAP. But I had to sleep. I actually got about 3.5 hours before I got up to go to breakfast with Jamie. Not all that unusual for con behavior.
Long story short, I didn't get it working yet. When I got home, Kevin and I opened it up and cleaned all the mechanisms, and it comes on now. But the regulator seems to be toast. It changes volume at random, giving me no air at all up to the maximum, and everything in between. I still can't sleep.
And so today, while I've been thinking about this blog, and the chapter I need to finish, along with Kevin's story that we want my half done on before June 15th, I haven't hardly written anything.
Except this blog. At least I kept up my side of the bargain.
Monday, October 17, 2011
October Follies
Many things have happened in the past couple of weeks, and it's time I got caught up. First, we have been waiting for some time to have one of our stories printed in a book instead of available on the internet. I'm proud of the stories and articles we've sold to the Grantville Gazette over the years, but somehow, they didn't ever seem real to me because they were just part of the ether out on the internet. I didn't have anything I could sign for fans. And I never really heard if anyone liked them.
Well, now that is about to change. Our story, Sailing Upwind, has been selected for Grantville Gazette VI, due out in hardback in January. And the news today is that the e-arc is out on Webscriptions available for download. Yes, it's still electronic, but Baen always lets you read some of the opening chapters, and ours is one of the free stories. If you are curious about the series, I'd love to answer any questions. But you can go here and see for yourself. After reading the lead-in blurb, hit NEXT at the top right corner, and you'll see the table of contents. I am so excited!
Next, we survived the Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta. It was a close thing, but we made it through to the end without serious harm.
Seriously, the ten days of Balloon Fiesta can take a lot out of you. Kevin takes leave every year, and we get up each morning at 4:30 am to participate in the cold and dark. At least it wasn't as cold this year as it has been in previous years. Unfortunately, we did not fly as often as we did last year. Mostly too windy. And since I wasn't feeling very well, I sent my assistant, Jamie Walbridge, in my place most mornings. So I didn't take any new pictures.
Also of note, we got the email from the Slush-meister at Baen books. They liked our novels, but they were not what Baen is looking for right now. So we have to start the submission process again.
They said complimentary things about my novel, Colors of Evil, though. I was always unsure if Baen would want to publish a SF/Mystery/paranormal story. It is a little hard to categorize.
Finally, since we are within sight of November, we have started planning two new novels to work on for NaNoWriMo. Kevin is working on a sequel to his first effort, and I'm going to write a space opera taken from a short story that I wrote a couple of years ago. The working title is Cool and the Pirates, and it's set in the not-distant future in the Asteroid Belt. Jamie is even going to try her first NaNoWriMo, so we can encourage each other. I've already set up my novel page for this year. If any are interested in being one of my writing buddies, my online name is tyrca.
Well, now that is about to change. Our story, Sailing Upwind, has been selected for Grantville Gazette VI, due out in hardback in January. And the news today is that the e-arc is out on Webscriptions available for download. Yes, it's still electronic, but Baen always lets you read some of the opening chapters, and ours is one of the free stories. If you are curious about the series, I'd love to answer any questions. But you can go here and see for yourself. After reading the lead-in blurb, hit NEXT at the top right corner, and you'll see the table of contents. I am so excited!
Next, we survived the Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta. It was a close thing, but we made it through to the end without serious harm.
Seriously, the ten days of Balloon Fiesta can take a lot out of you. Kevin takes leave every year, and we get up each morning at 4:30 am to participate in the cold and dark. At least it wasn't as cold this year as it has been in previous years. Unfortunately, we did not fly as often as we did last year. Mostly too windy. And since I wasn't feeling very well, I sent my assistant, Jamie Walbridge, in my place most mornings. So I didn't take any new pictures.
Also of note, we got the email from the Slush-meister at Baen books. They liked our novels, but they were not what Baen is looking for right now. So we have to start the submission process again.
They said complimentary things about my novel, Colors of Evil, though. I was always unsure if Baen would want to publish a SF/Mystery/paranormal story. It is a little hard to categorize.
Finally, since we are within sight of November, we have started planning two new novels to work on for NaNoWriMo. Kevin is working on a sequel to his first effort, and I'm going to write a space opera taken from a short story that I wrote a couple of years ago. The working title is Cool and the Pirates, and it's set in the not-distant future in the Asteroid Belt. Jamie is even going to try her first NaNoWriMo, so we can encourage each other. I've already set up my novel page for this year. If any are interested in being one of my writing buddies, my online name is tyrca.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
In Which the Manic Reclusive Leaves Home
Already the middle of September, and I haven't blogged again. Part of the lag is because I attended two different conventions in two different cities.
When last I blogged, I mentioned that we were about to drive across town for Bubonicon in Albuquerque, New Mexico. That was a fun convention. I didn't attend very many panels, but I sat in the hallway and talked to people, and enjoyed watching the costumes. It was comfortable to feel a part of the celebration. My favorite part of Bubonicon is on Sunday afternoon. First there is the Author's Tea. Several of the lady authors who live in the Bubonicon area organize a tea. They have usually four types of tea from a local tea house, and they all prepare appropriate delicacies like scones or savory crackers and cheese. Everything is always so good.
We are expected to come in hat and gloves as is appropriate for tea.This year, I made a little veil and some gloves from some yellow sparkly tulle. I didn't get a picture taken of me, but I felt really elegant. And the petite fours were marvelous.
After that, we can pick up our purchases from the Art Show. I always go in and bid on some of the artworks, especially if there are dragons in it. I never know until I pick it up whether I won the silent auction for a piece. I could have nothing, or I could have everything. It's kind of like Christmas. This year, I got a print of a piece I've bid on before and lost. It's the picture of a dragon with it's head out the car window, like a dog. I love it.
On Wednesday after our Bubonicon experience, we flew from New Mexico to Atlanta, Georgia, for Dragon*Con. I have to say that this is the largest convention I've ever attended. It had over 45,000 attendees, and more than 400 media stars. They had five huge hotels in downtown Atlanta, full to bursting with fans, and all with rooms for panels. In some ways, it was too much for me. Not only were there too many people, but it was hot and humid outside. Not a perfect environment for a Manic Reclusive from the High Desert.
We stayed in the Weston. It was much more expensive than the Centennial, where most of the rest of the 1632 panel members stayed. But we didn't make reservations until June, so the Centennial was already booked. I chose the Weston because that was where Eric Flint, the publisher for the Grantville Gazette, was staying. I'm glad we did it that way, even though it was so much more money, because that's where all our panels were held. So I didn't really have to leave my hotel for anything except looking for people I know, or to get something to eat.
The very first panel in the 1632 series was my panel on Chocolate. The first piece I sold to the Grantville Gazette was "The Theobroma Shell Game". It can be found here. It is a non-fiction piece about the history and process of bringing chocolate to the Americans in Grantville in the 1630's. So every year I get the first panel. Everybody likes that because I bring samples of chocolate, and it's a good way to introduce the whole concept of 1632 to new readers.
If you were unable to attend Dragon*Con, but are curious about my activities, we recorded the panels, and they are now on YouTube for your perusal and entertainment. I have watched myself on this panel, and it makes me want to lock myself in my room and never be seen in public again. But you will probably not have the same reaction. Look for my YouTube debut at this link. It will take you to Chocolate I of 4 parts. It is informative, and if I haven't figured out how to share chocolate on the Interwebz yet, at least you can see what you missed.
While you are there, you can see other panels we did. I was not on any others, but I did help point the camera at most of the others. And if they spend some time looking at the wall, or not following the person talking, I apologize. I got caught up in the discussion, and forgot I was recording. ADD strikes again.
Now I'm home, and I'm profoundly glad. We are not planning another expedition until LosCon in November. We do have the Albuquerque Balloon Fiesta on the horizon, but I get to have people come here and visit, and I sleep in my own bed every night. We came from Dragon*Con with a whole handful of stories to finish for the Grantville Gazette, and novels for me to finish, and plan for new ones for NaNoWriMo. So I will be writing. And hopefully blogging every week.
When last I blogged, I mentioned that we were about to drive across town for Bubonicon in Albuquerque, New Mexico. That was a fun convention. I didn't attend very many panels, but I sat in the hallway and talked to people, and enjoyed watching the costumes. It was comfortable to feel a part of the celebration. My favorite part of Bubonicon is on Sunday afternoon. First there is the Author's Tea. Several of the lady authors who live in the Bubonicon area organize a tea. They have usually four types of tea from a local tea house, and they all prepare appropriate delicacies like scones or savory crackers and cheese. Everything is always so good.
We are expected to come in hat and gloves as is appropriate for tea.This year, I made a little veil and some gloves from some yellow sparkly tulle. I didn't get a picture taken of me, but I felt really elegant. And the petite fours were marvelous.
After that, we can pick up our purchases from the Art Show. I always go in and bid on some of the artworks, especially if there are dragons in it. I never know until I pick it up whether I won the silent auction for a piece. I could have nothing, or I could have everything. It's kind of like Christmas. This year, I got a print of a piece I've bid on before and lost. It's the picture of a dragon with it's head out the car window, like a dog. I love it.
On Wednesday after our Bubonicon experience, we flew from New Mexico to Atlanta, Georgia, for Dragon*Con. I have to say that this is the largest convention I've ever attended. It had over 45,000 attendees, and more than 400 media stars. They had five huge hotels in downtown Atlanta, full to bursting with fans, and all with rooms for panels. In some ways, it was too much for me. Not only were there too many people, but it was hot and humid outside. Not a perfect environment for a Manic Reclusive from the High Desert.
We stayed in the Weston. It was much more expensive than the Centennial, where most of the rest of the 1632 panel members stayed. But we didn't make reservations until June, so the Centennial was already booked. I chose the Weston because that was where Eric Flint, the publisher for the Grantville Gazette, was staying. I'm glad we did it that way, even though it was so much more money, because that's where all our panels were held. So I didn't really have to leave my hotel for anything except looking for people I know, or to get something to eat.
The very first panel in the 1632 series was my panel on Chocolate. The first piece I sold to the Grantville Gazette was "The Theobroma Shell Game". It can be found here. It is a non-fiction piece about the history and process of bringing chocolate to the Americans in Grantville in the 1630's. So every year I get the first panel. Everybody likes that because I bring samples of chocolate, and it's a good way to introduce the whole concept of 1632 to new readers.
If you were unable to attend Dragon*Con, but are curious about my activities, we recorded the panels, and they are now on YouTube for your perusal and entertainment. I have watched myself on this panel, and it makes me want to lock myself in my room and never be seen in public again. But you will probably not have the same reaction. Look for my YouTube debut at this link. It will take you to Chocolate I of 4 parts. It is informative, and if I haven't figured out how to share chocolate on the Interwebz yet, at least you can see what you missed.
While you are there, you can see other panels we did. I was not on any others, but I did help point the camera at most of the others. And if they spend some time looking at the wall, or not following the person talking, I apologize. I got caught up in the discussion, and forgot I was recording. ADD strikes again.
Now I'm home, and I'm profoundly glad. We are not planning another expedition until LosCon in November. We do have the Albuquerque Balloon Fiesta on the horizon, but I get to have people come here and visit, and I sleep in my own bed every night. We came from Dragon*Con with a whole handful of stories to finish for the Grantville Gazette, and novels for me to finish, and plan for new ones for NaNoWriMo. So I will be writing. And hopefully blogging every week.
Friday, August 26, 2011
The Prodigal Blogger
It has been six months since my last blog post. At first, I forgot it was Friday. Then I remembered (I think it was a Tuesday) and so waited until Friday to post. Then I wasn't feeling well on Friday, so didn't post again.
Then, after a couple weeks of that, I began to get used to the idea of not blogging. After all, at my age, a web-log is still a foreign idea. It didn't come at all naturally after fifty-six years of making decisions. So I didn't naturally just fall back into the habit.
But here I am now. Do I have something to say? I think I do. I think I'm ready to re-enter the blogoverse. Today is Friday, and this afternoon, my husband and I will drive across town to the Sheraton Airport Hotel, and register for Bubonicon. We are going to spend the weekend rubbing elbows with writers, fans, and people in costumes. We are going to attend panels, and regain the strength to keep writing. Isn't that why we go to conventions? To revel in our own Geekitude?
At least, that's why I go. I observe people, listen to conversations, and relax into the idea that I'm not the only one. There are many of us, and we support each other in our own form of Geek.
I haven't been to a convention since May. We planned it this way, because next week we are flying out to Atlanta for DragonCon, and we had to save up for the experience. But I didn't plan for the gap between May and September to be so arid and writing-free. I know there are many reasons, but the largest looming one is that while we had a blast at ConDuit in Salt Lake City, and we really loved seeing all our Utah friends, it doesn't change the fact that on the Monday after the Con, my father passed away. It was really a great blessing that he waited for me to be in Utah, and then for me to finish up my responsibilities at the Con before anything really serious happened.
My father was 80 years old, and suffering from a form of cystic fibrosis. He had been dying for almost 9 years, and nobody was surprised. In fact, we were somewhat relieved because he was not happy with the restrictions the disease brought into his life. And my mother, his primary caregiver, had a hard time as well. His passing meant that he was no longer in pain or restricted to his bedroom, and that my mother could go out into the world again.
What I didn't anticipate was my doldrums. I miss my dad. It's not like I live in Utah where he was at, or that I got to see him more often than every couple of months. But I know that he's no longer a phone call away. It has taken some getting used to.
But now, I think I've broken the ice wall that had built up between me and the blog. I can blog next Friday as well. I will be in Georgia by then, but I can post from there. In other words, I'm back, and I'm here to stay.
Then, after a couple weeks of that, I began to get used to the idea of not blogging. After all, at my age, a web-log is still a foreign idea. It didn't come at all naturally after fifty-six years of making decisions. So I didn't naturally just fall back into the habit.
But here I am now. Do I have something to say? I think I do. I think I'm ready to re-enter the blogoverse. Today is Friday, and this afternoon, my husband and I will drive across town to the Sheraton Airport Hotel, and register for Bubonicon. We are going to spend the weekend rubbing elbows with writers, fans, and people in costumes. We are going to attend panels, and regain the strength to keep writing. Isn't that why we go to conventions? To revel in our own Geekitude?
At least, that's why I go. I observe people, listen to conversations, and relax into the idea that I'm not the only one. There are many of us, and we support each other in our own form of Geek.
I haven't been to a convention since May. We planned it this way, because next week we are flying out to Atlanta for DragonCon, and we had to save up for the experience. But I didn't plan for the gap between May and September to be so arid and writing-free. I know there are many reasons, but the largest looming one is that while we had a blast at ConDuit in Salt Lake City, and we really loved seeing all our Utah friends, it doesn't change the fact that on the Monday after the Con, my father passed away. It was really a great blessing that he waited for me to be in Utah, and then for me to finish up my responsibilities at the Con before anything really serious happened.
My father was 80 years old, and suffering from a form of cystic fibrosis. He had been dying for almost 9 years, and nobody was surprised. In fact, we were somewhat relieved because he was not happy with the restrictions the disease brought into his life. And my mother, his primary caregiver, had a hard time as well. His passing meant that he was no longer in pain or restricted to his bedroom, and that my mother could go out into the world again.
What I didn't anticipate was my doldrums. I miss my dad. It's not like I live in Utah where he was at, or that I got to see him more often than every couple of months. But I know that he's no longer a phone call away. It has taken some getting used to.
But now, I think I've broken the ice wall that had built up between me and the blog. I can blog next Friday as well. I will be in Georgia by then, but I can post from there. In other words, I'm back, and I'm here to stay.
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